SALTLANTIC™ Surf Co. “Chill, Bro” Tee

  This tee doesn’t just tell people to chill —
it threatens them with relaxation.

The front says “Chill, Bro”, but the energy behind it is:
“I have not had a coherent thought since the last lunar eclipse and I’m thriving.”

Slip this shirt on and instantly become the kind of person who:

Forgets what they were doing mid‑doing it

Moves at the speed of a sea cow drifting through warm water

Has a personal vendetta against urgency

Says “broooo” like it’s a legally binding document

The SALTLANTIC™ sleeve branding is there to warn bystanders that you are operating on low‑battery beach mode, and any attempt to stress you out will be met with a slow blink and a confused smile.

This tee is ideal for:

People who think sunscreen is a personality

Surfers who paddle out to avoid taxes

Anyone whose emotional support system is “the vibes”

Folks who have achieved enlightenment by staring at a wave for too long

Wearing this shirt may cause:

Sudden horizontalness

Chronic mellow

A complete inability to take anything seriously

Becoming one with the sand (physically or spiritually)