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SALTLANTIC™ Surf Co. Skelly Wave Slayer™, Fl. USA" Tee
$30.00
This isn’t just a shirt. It’s a headline waiting to happen: “Florida Man Skeleton Surfs Into Freedom, Refuses To Pay Taxes, Waves Flag While Eating Corn Dogs.”
Picture it: a skeleton shredding a wave so hard the ocean files a noise complaint, gripping the American flag like it’s a Publix sub on the 4th of July. Bald eagles circle overhead, one’s playing a banjo, another’s shot-gunning a Capri Sun. The crowd chants “USA! USA!” while the skeleton yells back, “I AM THE CONSTITUTION, BRO!”
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Material: 100% cotton — softer than a gator in a kiddie pool
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Graphic: Skeleton + surfboard + flag = the ghost of George Washington’s beach day
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Style: Patriotic chaos, perfect for BBQs, surf comps, or court appearances after jet ski incidents
Wear this tee and you’re legally allowed to grill hot dogs on a surfboard while declaring independence from sunscreen. 🌊☠️🔥